Yawn

I am so tired.

I can barely haul my tired body out of bed each morning. And it's not because I dread going to work.

I keep meaning to get to bed early, to get sufficient sleep. But every night, I am caught up in the distractions of modern life - TV, the internet, email, chatting to friends. And then there's the good intention to finish reading a novel I had ambitiously rented from a bookshop and need to return for the remaining value on it before the expiry date. So, even if I am tired when I finally crawl into bed, I make it a point to read a couple of pages' worth before turning off the lights.

Then there's the search for T he Perfect Pillow. I've been looking for one that provides sufficient support for the side sleeper that I am, and still not give me a neck ache when I sleep on my back. The mission has been a miserable failure thus far. I have searched the department stores' various options. I have tried the "neck support" shaped pillow. I have tried the "2 soft pillows" option. I have tried the "maximum support down pillow" option. I have gone to the extent of carting back a "memory foam" pillow all the way from the US of A, and yet my neck ache persists.

I have been indulging in neck and shoulder massages, on top of the foot massages, in hopes of relieving the tension, to no avail.

It doesn't help that I've been unable to shut my mind to the various events in my life of late. Normally a dreamless sleeper, I've been tossing and turning at night, waking up and falling back asleep, carrying on such pointless dreams as packing endlessly for a holiday (probably a subconscious recognition of how my life is, lots of work being done but getting nowhere). Some nights, it's been a bit of a task, making my appointment with the Sandman. Again, rather unusual for one who's out cold before her head hits the pillow most nights.

Then there's the 101 activities I need to get up early for, even on the weekends. No sleep-ins. Part of getting old is coming to the realisation that sleep takes away your time to get things done. If you wake at noon, more than half your day's gone by the time you've cleaned up and slapped on the makeup, ready to face the world. Plus, when it's the weekend, one's always raring to go! Whatever there is to wake up for! Even classes!

And so, here I am. All worn out. No more energy of youth to keep me going. Even Brand's Essence of Chicken is not quite hitting the spot. Yawn.